Skye Thomas

Skye Thomas
Writer, Rebel, and Soapbox Ranter

Thursday, January 01, 2015

Getting Back Up On That Horse Again - Looking Up Newsletter

January 1st, 2015
Looking Up Newsletter

Hello everyone,

As we begin the New Year, I wanted to inspire you to reconsider some of your old dreams and goals that may have been cast aside along the way as grown up things like parenting, paying bills, bad economies, and such have caused us all to make compromises. Maybe it is time to give it another try?

take care,
Skye Thomas


Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.



This Month's News of Interest:


January 2015 Monthly Horoscopes

The new January horoscopes were posted to the website a couple of weeks ago. Here are the links...



If the new horoscopes do not show up, please click on the “refresh” button within your browser.





The free (generic) annual astrological overviews have been posted to the website...






Books by Skye Thomas





Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.



Skye Thomas Websites






Quote of the Week:

I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection. – Billy Joel

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. – Theodore Roosevelt

If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was 1,000 miles away, I'd still swim. And I'd despise the one who gave up. - Abraham Maslow


Feature Article of the Week:


Getting Back Up On That Horse Again

Sometimes, for whatever reason, we give up and quit. Sometimes, we run out of resources or start-up capital. Sometimes, our children, parents, friends, and loved ones need us during their time of crisis and we gladly put our dreams aside to rush to their aid. Sometimes, we are simply burned out and no longer feel motivated to take action despite still seeing the validity of the objective. Sometimes, we do not have the skills, education, or credentials that we need. Sometimes, we simply cannot do it alone and help is nowhere in sight. Sometimes, political powers make it very difficult for us to accomplish our goals because our aspirations conflict with their ideology. Sometimes, our competitors succeed at sabotaging our efforts. And sometimes, we feel as if we do not have the strength to pick ourselves up one more time to keep moving forward, so we decide to just stay down for a while as we catch our breath and regroup. We suspect that someday, somehow we will get back up on that horse again, despite feeling that right now, in this moment, we just cannot go on anymore.

This article is not about how to solve the problems and remove the roadblocks that cause you to want to give up and quit. This is about giving yourself permission to get back up, dust yourself off, and make another go at it. All too often, once we give up and quit, we assign the “loser” and “failure” labels to ourselves and then assume that role in society. It is a noble place in society, the person who gave it a good try and failed. We get to hold our head up as one of those people who had the nerve to at least try compared to those who never do. And we can smugly tell others who follow in our footsteps where to watch out for pitfalls and why they too should expect to fail. Thus telling ourselves that we are also using our hard earned wisdom to assist others and to ease others from landing as hard as we did when we made our own face-plant. Yes, there is the nagging sense that we are indeed losers and failures, but there are enough small benefits that it is not so uncomfortable that we actually have to take action and move away from having tried and failed. After all, there is no shame in trying your best and then failing. Right?

For all the comfort we get from our peers and dear old Mom telling us that we are still lovable even when we fail, losing still haunts us. Life is never stagnant. At some point, circumstances change. Sometimes, they change in our favor and sometimes they don’t. When things get worse, we shrug it off and reconfirm our choice to give up and quit. But when things get better, when competitors leave the market, when political ideologies change, when creative new ideas come to us, when new technologies make it easier for us to wear more hats and not have to hire help, when it looks like our old dreams and goals become more do-able, then what? Then we wrestle with the concept, “Do I try again? Do I take another chance? Do I put myself through all of that again? Am I willing to risk it one more time? Now what?”

At this point, the question is, “Do I dare to hope? Or do I surrender to my fears that things will probably fall apart again?” It is easy to weigh the pros and cons, play around with statistics and probability analyses, and to fantasize success while also visualizing failure. This is all good and well. One should never make big decisions lightly or without all of the relevant facts on hand.

Sometimes, making the decision is easy. You dreamt of being a rock star when you were a teenager. Now, with home recording equipment and the Internet, it is possible to launch your music career and self-promote as an unsigned independent artist. However, you are older, wiser, and no longer see that dream as anything more than a youthful fancy. You no longer have the desire to work that hard or to put your spouse and children through the uncertain financial future of being a musician. Therefore, even though you may enjoy dabbling and playing around with such things, you decide to keep your “real job.”

It can also play out the other way, and saying yes to resurrecting your dream is easy. You wanted to start your own business. You created an excellent well thought out business plan, ironed out all of the details, analyzed the market’s likely response to your goods and services, and you had the expertise, confidence, and tenacity to make great things happen. However, you could not raise the start-up capital. No matter how brilliant your business proposal and no matter how enthusiastic your sales pitch, you could not find an investor who believed in both you and your dream. Then along comes an old friend from high school you have not seen in years and not only do they have the ability to finance your idea, they are excited at the opportunity to co-create it with you. Therefore, it is easy to say yes and give it another try.

But what about when favorable circumstances are not overwhelmingly favorable, but just “more favorable”? Or when your competition leaves the company, but that does not guarantee you the next job promotion? Or when creative new ideas might work, but are not guaranteed to work? Or when you have acquired enough new knowledge to know what you did wrong last time, but not much more than that? Or when some wave of “change is in the air” washes over you and you just feel motivated again? Or when nothing at all has changed other than you feel deeply called to try again because the dream haunts you and will not let you quit with peace of mind? Then what? How do you give yourself permission to hope again when the hard concrete evidence validating the logic behind rekindled hope does not exist?

To this I give you three questions to ponder. One or more may apply in your personal situation.

1) Let’s say that accomplishing your goal brings good into the world. For example, you are going to become a teacher, write music, run for office, cure Cancer, or some other dream that is not completely self-oriented, like “I am going to lose 20 pounds before my next birthday.” Your goal is in a service-to-others industry. In your own way, you are trying to make the world a better place.

Ask yourself, “If I work really hard struggling for years to bring my little gifts to the world, and it only helps two people, was it worth it?”

This question was posed to me by a well-meaning acquaintance years ago. I was going through a tough time. I wanted to write my little books and articles and to give my little speeches around the country to help others learn how to be happy. However, it seemed that no matter how hard I tried to help my own friends and family, they kept reverting back to negative self-destructive behaviors that kept them from living the life of ease and joy that they could so easily have had if they would just heed my well-intentioned advice. My question to this wise person I knew was, “Are you sure the world even wants to be happy? Maybe I’m just wasting my time trying to force something on people that is not really in their nature?” Without a “market” to sell “happiness” to, how could I possibly succeed? He then asked me, “If you spend the rest of your life writing your books and traveling all over the world giving speeches. And your words reach millions of people, but in the end, only two people are truly moved, only two people are able to really “get it” and apply what you are teaching, you only have a profoundly positive life-changing effect on two people. If that happens, then was your lifetime of hard work and effort all for naught?” And so, throughout the hard times, whenever I was tempted to give up and quit, I would remember those “two people” and for them I would carry on.

Consider how this line of questioning might apply to your own dream and ask yourself that same question.

2) Ask yourself this question, “Who else would you be?”

Is this a dream that holds a piece of your soul? Are you at the very core of your being a musician, artist, writer, singer, leader, civil rights advocate, politician, chef, doctor, etc.? For some people, a dream is just a dream. For others, it is about becoming who they already were. Look at someone like Oprah, she majored in journalism and wanted to become “Mary Tyler Moore”. She did not necessarily have the goal of succeeding at the level that she did, but at the core of who she is – is the personality that needed to educate, inspire, uplift, and entertain people. She simply became who she already was. The same is true for me; I was always a wordsmith who meant well when offering unsolicited advice to anyone who would listen. At times when life required that I put my dream on the backburner for a while, I missed being the kind of person who goes after this kind of a dream despite the odds. I missed “being” that person more than I missed the actual writing, speech giving, or any other part of the actual “doing.” And so, it may be with you. Are you able to spend the rest of your life NOT being who and what you really are? Can you say no to a music career because deep down it is fun, but not really something that haunts you and owns you? Does the music call to you, never leaving you alone, always screaming to be birthed through you? Then, who else would you be?

3) If I could promise you that you would only fail two more times and that on the third attempt, you would achieve everything your heart desires and more. If I had a crystal ball and could promise you this without question, would you do it? Would you put yourself through two more failures in order to get to that “third times a charm” place in the universe?

I often hear from aspiring writers who are feeling quite discouraged because they have been turned down by a handful of perspective publishers. They need to ask themselves, “What is the average number of rejection letters the average unknown writer receives before a publisher finally says yes to them?” I remember at one time hearing that it was something like 27, and telling myself, “Okay, well I need to hurry up and blow through the first 26 rejections so I can get to that 27th one who will say yes.” Of course, we all want to be one of the lucky ones who receives a “yes” sooner than what normally happens for the average writer. However, if you go into the whole process prepared and emotionally steeled for 26 rejection letters, it makes it a lot easier than if you go into it saying, “I applied to three and got rejected all three times, so I must not be any good at writing.”

Mulling over these questions does not guarantee you success as you contemplate once again giving hope a chance, but if you are on the edge and thinking that you just might take one more leap of faith, they can help you to remember why you wanted to fly in the first place.


Need someone to talk to about life's challenges?
Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.


Unless otherwise specified, newsletter contents copyright 1999-2015, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge









If someone forwarded this newsletter to you and you would like to be included on a regular basis, send us an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line. We will be happy to add you to the list.

To unsubscribe from this newsletter, send a blank email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net. We will make sure you are promptly removed without any hassles. This may sound obvious, but send it from the same email address that we send this to or the automated system will think you are opting a new address into the system instead of removing an old one.

To change email addresses, opt out of the old address by sending an email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net and then opt in with the new address by sending an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line.





Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.

No comments: