Skye Thomas

Skye Thomas
Writer, Rebel, and Soapbox Ranter

Sunday, November 02, 2014

Friends Are a Gift You Give Yourself - Looking Up Newsletter

November 1st, 2014
Looking Up Newsletter

Hello everyone,

It has been a loooooong hot summer here in southern California. Yesterday was Halloween and it struck me as really something when half the students at my son’s school were wearing shorts and t-shirts. Nobody even needed a light jacket last night.

This morning, it finally started to rain and I noticed red leaves beginning to show on the tree outside my window. It is with a sigh of relief that I find myself happy for lousy weather.

I hope you are all enjoy autumn and making plans for a lovely holiday season.

take care,
Skye Thomas

Tomorrow's Edge
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This Month's News of Interest:

November 2014 Monthly Horoscopes

The new November horoscopes were posted to the website a couple of weeks ago. Here are the links...

If the new horoscopes do not show up, please click on the “refresh” button within your browser.

The free (generic) annual astrological overviews have been posted to the website...

Books by Skye Thomas

Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to

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Quote of the Week:

It is unfortunate we can't buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth. - Malcolm Forbes

If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend. -- Stone Temple Pilots

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. - Winnie the Pooh

Feature Article of the Week:

Friends Are a Gift You Give Yourself

When my oldest son was fifteen years old, he had become quite arrogant and acted as if he was too cool for the rest of the family. It was fairly typical teenager behavior, but I did not like it. I had gotten to the end of my patience with him and laid into him about how lousy it felt to be treated that way. We ended up in a huge fight. He argued that he was not acting any different than normal and that I was just choosing to see things negatively. So, I laid out numerous examples of his selfish "me me me" behaviors without stopping to take a second breath. He hates it when I go off like that, but once he was ready to really talk, I came down off of my soapbox. He was close to tears. Apparently, I had hit a nerve. He confessed that his closest friends at school had been trying to tell him the same thing and he was not hearing them. Now he suddenly knew what it was they had been trying to say. He felt awful and began to make immediate changes in his behaviors towards others. He really hated the idea that he was hurting anyone's feelings by being cold and uncaring.

We talked a lot that night about how family sort of has to put up with each other. Family is always there for you. Family can embarrass you and you still have to acknowledge them in public. Family can and will scream at you until you finally get the point that you are being a jerk. You really do not have much choice over who your family is.

Friends, on the other hand, are a gift that you give yourself. Friends do not have to put up with your bad attitudes. Friends can kick you out of their life if you are not very nice towards them. Friends are not friends for very long if you are embarrassing them in public. Friends usually will not scream at you to get their point across. You handpick your friends to be something different and special. They are not quite the same as family.

In order to have friends, you have to be a friend. Do you listen to them? Do you care for them? Do you encourage them? You have to give a lot of yourself to be a good friend to someone. But in the end, you are the one who benefits the most. It is not about becoming some kind of martyr without any personal needs or thoughts towards your own well-being. It is more about nurturing a cherished relationship. That way, you have a dear friend to hang out with when your family is driving you bonkers. You have someone to laugh and play with. You have someone safe to share your hopes and dreams with. You have someone to talk to who is not going to blab to the rest of the family that you think your mom is an overbearing control freak or that your stepfather is not turning out to be your idea of what a dad ought to be.

Through our discussions that night, we were able to tap into what it was that made my son such a great guy to hang out with over the years. It was his ability to genuinely care about others and his intuitive compassion for everyone that made him more than just popular, but a real friend to all. He was the kind of teenager who always stuck up for the smaller kids and looked after the lost children. Once I reminded him of how he used to be, he realized how much of his focus had turned inwards towards himself instead of outwards towards those whom he cared about. He said that he had gotten so wrapped up in his new cool friends and in his public image at school that he had not understood what his old friends were talking about when they said he was cold and uncaring now. Turning his attention inwards had caused him to alienate many of his closest friends and family. Now, he suddenly felt very much alone in the world. Luckily, it had not been happening for very long before I blew up at him and made him look at it. He was able to quickly readjust back into the caring person he used to be and was able to feel loved and supported by his friends and family again. He passionately dove back into his friendships.

He learned that you can treat your brother like garbage and he will always be your brother and you will have to see each other at family gatherings whether you ever learn to be close or not. Friends on the other hand, can and will walk out of your life if you are cold and uncaring towards them. Family will eventually just shrug their shoulders and excuse your self-absorbed behavior as just the way you are, friends won't. I find it is the friendships that we love and nurture like family that last forever as if they were family. And, it is the family members that we love and nurture like friends that we form the strongest and closest bonds with.

They say that we learn our social skills from our siblings, but I am not so sure about that anymore. My stepmother was not a very nurturing personality type and my sister and I were not very close when we were younger. So through my girlfriends, I got that female connection that I just could not get from my family. My girlfriends became my surrogate family and taught me a lot about how to really be there for someone else. My sister and I have only recently become friends in the last few years. We are forming a different kind of bond compared to what we had when we were children. It is much better now. I would never treat my friends the way I used to treat my sister!

Need someone to talk to about life's challenges?
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Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith

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life coaching, and horoscopes.

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