Skye Thomas

Skye Thomas
Writer, Rebel, and Soapbox Ranter

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Successful Parenting is in the Details - Looking Up Newsletter 031708

March 17th, 2008
Looking Up Newsletter

Good morning,

Happy St Patrick's Day, Easter, and Spring Break to all of you. May the wind be at your back, the eggs be fully cooked, and the kids be well behaved.

take care,
Skye Thomas

Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net
Long Live the American Dream!



Is it spring yet? Sunny items can be found at our
Tomorrow's Edge Gift Shoppe



This Month's News of Interest:

April 2008 Horoscopes

The new forecasts will be sent out to the subscribers and then posted to the website later this week. Look for them Thursday or Friday. Here are the links...






Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.



Skye Thomas Websites




Feature Article of the Week:

Successful Parenting is in the Details

From the time they are little babies we have an obligation to pay attention. We have to make sure that the house is baby-proofed so they do not hurt themselves. We have to pay attention to the first symptoms of illness so that we can get them the best care possible. We have to cheer them on as they learn to crawl, to walk, to talk, to negotiate, and to explore. It seems that by the time our children start school, we begin weaning them from our attention. We start shifting back to our own social lives, our careers, our need for romance, our own educations, and our own emotional issues. This is where we drop the ball. Children need our guidance all the way through life. It does not stop when they turn ten or twenty or even thirty. A wise loving parent creates a wise loving member of society.

One of society's biggest complaints about teenagers is that they are verbally abusive and have overly negative attitudes. They won't open up and talk anymore, they no longer want to participate in family activities, and they have no respect for anyone but their own friends. If you want children to respect their elders, you have to be respectable and you have to be available to them. Nobody is going to be verbally abusive towards someone they admire and look up to. If someone has been a source of inspiration and a trusted source of guidance in a child's life, then they will not mistreat them later as a teenager. "Respect your parents!" Teenagers are not going to give respect blindly just because you were capable of procreation. Just like you and me, they give respect to those who deserve it - who have earned it.

We parents have to maintain our hands-on presence with our children. Yes, we need to create balance between hovering over them and giving them too much freedom. Yes, we need to find balance between our personal needs and their needs. If you want to be a successful parent you cannot pull back when they hit that point that they appear to be self-sufficient. Stay involved in their lives and keep the communications open and honest.

We need to stay focused on our children and keep watching for signs of emotional stresses and anything that can send up a red flag that they are not okay with their world. Pay attention for little signs of bad attitude the way you used to look for little signs that they were getting sick. Then when you see something is wrong, you immediately address it in the moment. Tell your teen that you have noticed that they seem a bit withdrawn lately or that you have noticed they are flying off the handle a bit more then usual. Do not let them blow you off and pretend that nothing is wrong. Force the issue; make them tell you what is going on with them.

Are they having problems with a boyfriend or a girlfriend? If you are a trusted source of guidance in that area, then they will be more likely to come to you when they are stressing about dating. Your daughter will not come to you to talk about all of the stress her boyfriend is putting on her for premarital sex if she does not think you really care about her or if she thinks you will just scream and yell and make her dump the boyfriend. She wants to know that you will actually sit down together, share your personal stories, and give her some really good advice that is relevant to her situation.

You have to know who they hang out with, what their emotional state of mind is, what their belief system is about drugs and alcohol, where they go when they are socializing, and what kinds of goals and dreams do they have to look forward to? The best way to keep your kids off drugs is to make sure that they know you want them to succeed at their goals. Nothing is more motivational to stay clean and sober then a precious dream that one longs to achieve. Help them find those dreams so that they have something of importance to focus all of their creative energy on. A restless bored spirit is very dangerous to teenagers. Pay attention to their activities and what they are doing and aspiring towards. Are they bored and lonely? Are you available to talk with them about drugs?

Your son is not going to tell you that he has been offered drugs at a party and he is stressed out about how to turn them down without looking like a complete geek if he thinks you will explode. You have to have built a history with him of actually respecting his need to be socially accepted. Your son needs you to support him in his decision to stay drug free and he needs for you to help him come up with creative ways to bow out gracefully.

The reason our teens do not feel loved is because they are either ignored or criticized. They rarely get any seriously positive one-on-one attention from the adults in their lives. We may assume that they know that we still love them just like when they were little, but just like in a marriage, that is not good enough. Quality time, focus, and open communication is the way to letting someone know how much you love them and value their contribution to your life.

There was a very popular country song playing on the radio that tells of a teenager who commits suicide and the singer asks, "How do you get that lonely and nobody knows?" The song makes the point, that nobody cared enough about this kid to even notice that he was that depressed and had lost all hope of creating a better life for himself. Suicide is always about hopelessness. As parents, we have to watch for the signs. We have to pay attention and make ourselves available to talk to, to really talk to. No matter what your teenager is going through, you should be able to read them well enough to know if they are happy and healthy or not. We have to keep paying attention.

Put in the detail work with your children and you will have amazingly beautiful teenagers who are helpful, courteous, motivated, caring, and really fun to hang out with. Happy healthy teenagers will do amazing amounts of volunteer work, they will help the elderly, they will be thoughtful about what they are role modeling to younger children, and they will cheer you on as you work towards your own goals and dreams.

Copyright 2005, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

Need someone to talk to about your teenagers?
Skye Thomas is available for one-on-one private consultations.



Quote of the Week:

"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own." - Doug Larson

"Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves." - Joseph Priestley

"The Golden Rule of Parenting is; Do unto your children as you wish your parents had done unto you!" - Louise Hart



Books by Skye Thomas




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Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net
Long Live the American Dream!

Posted by Skye Thomas at 9:44 AM

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