Skye Thomas

Skye Thomas
Writer, Rebel, and Soapbox Ranter

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

May 2014 Horoscopes

Hello everyone,

First, let me wish everyone an early "Happy Easter!"  I hope you all have a wonderful time spending time with your favorite people.

Because of the Easter weekend, the May 2014 monthly horoscopes will most likely be posted to the website Monday the 21st.

Here are the links...


Have a great weekend!

take care,
Skye

Monday, April 14, 2014

Creating New Friendships - Looking Up Newsletter

April 14th, 2014
Looking Up Newsletter

Good morning,

I find it interesting how many women I have met in the last few months that have made comments about not having friends or needing to make new friends. I think that as we age and get swamped in our professional and family related duties, it becomes difficult to find the time to make new friends. I know I am guilty of this. Between school and work, I have neglected all of my friendships. It is definitely something to consider prioritizing differently.

take care,
Skye Thomas


Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.



This Month's News of Interest:


May 2014 Monthly Horoscopes

The new batch of May horoscopes will probably be posted to the website on Monday the 21st. It is possible that they might go out before that, but I don’t want to promise. Here are the links...



If the new horoscopes do not show up, please click on the “refresh” button within your browser.





The free (generic) annual astrological overviews have been posted to the website...






Books by Skye Thomas





Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.



Skye Thomas Websites






Quote of the Week:

Once you get people laughing they are listening and you can tell them almost anything. – Herbert Gardner

The Golden Rule of Parenting is; Do unto your children as you wish your parents had done unto you! - Louise Hart

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats, Irish Poet and Dramatist



Feature Article of the Week:


Making New Friends

How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making new friends? Most of us don’t really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.

Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool. He had been begging to go for about a year and was thrilled that he was finally there. He had longed to play on their playground. He really loved all of the noise and commotion of such a large daycare center. The sight of all those other children running around, laughing, and playing fascinated him. He was so excited to dive in and start hanging out with those other kids. He was naturally outgoing and energetic, and had wonderful social skills so I knew he would get along just fine. I was a bit surprised when he came up to me after a few weeks and said that he was really struggling because as the new kid he did not have any friends.

“How do I get some friends to play with me?”

I told him that every week I would give him a new assignment. I explained to him that you do not want to run through these steps too fast because it makes people nervous and they will push you away. You want to give them time to adjust to you as you go through these steps.

For the first week, all he had to do was smile a nice big smile and say, “Hi!” He needed to walk around saying “Hi!” to teachers and students alike; whoever seemed cool in his opinion. He did not have to be a geek about it and say “Hi!” to everyone; just those he thought seemed kind of interesting. This gives people the impression that you are an upbeat positive person, but not too pushy. Greet them every day with a smile on your face.

For the second week, he had to start adding their names to the cheerful greeting. When you see someone you like, smile real big and say “Hi Joey!” or “Hi Suzy!” or “Hi Anthony!” Start learning their names and adding the names to your greetings. This way they are already used to your pleasant greetings and it just personalizes it a bit. Greet them with a personalized greeting every day.

For the third week, I told him to give them an honest compliment along with the greeting. Do not make it something big and embarrassing, but something small and comfortable for them to hear you say aloud in front of others. “Hi Joey! I love your Ninja Turtle T-shirt!” or “Hi Suzy! I really like the way you color within the lines, looks great!” or “Hi Anthony! Nice haircut dude!” The key to this step is honesty. You have to find something you truly like about the person to compliment. People get an odd feeling and on some level can sense when others are being fake or insincere with them. Be honest, be upbeat, and personalize the greeting and the compliment. Again, do it every day. Consistency really matters. You are not just making them feel good about themselves, but creating a public image of yourself as a consistently upbeat positive person.

For the fourth week, I was going to have him include an invitation to play with him in with his greetings, but he never got that far. He was having such a good time with all of his new friends that he never really bothered with any more lessons. He was very popular and well-loved from that point on.

Every time he has changed schools or neighborhoods or gone away to camp or whatever, he has always used that same system to make new friends. It is foolproof and always works for him. Now that he is a young adult, he simply walks up to strangers, flashes them his best grin in a charming and almost clown-like manner. He hams it up like a beloved comedian and delivers whatever silly greeting will make people laugh. It is fun to watch him.

Can we as adults do the same thing? I know that if I really look at my own behaviors, the times that friends have seemed a bit scarce were when I was not doing a lot of reaching out and greeting them. If I was not personalizing my conversations towards them and I was not handing out the compliments, then new people did not seem to stick around and develop into friendships. Most people are a lot more insecure and shy than they let on, and they really feel good when someone else notices them enough to learn their name and to greet them with a real compliment. It usually makes them feel comfortable enough to respond and to begin opening up.

It is a really simple exercise: consistently greet them, personalize the greeting, and then add a compliment to the greeting, if you aren’t friends by then, offer an invitation along with the greeting. People love to feel likeable. This system lets them know that you think they are likeable without making you feel like an uncomfortable nerd. It is slow enough paced to not be forced, unnatural, or pushy. We humans have funny little behavioral rules and rituals that we follow instinctively. We feel uneasy when someone does not approach us the right way. Deep down, a lot of people are skittish and easily spooked away. Give them time to check you out. It is amazing how beautifully this works.


Need someone to talk to about life's challenges?
Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.


Unless otherwise specified, newsletter contents copyright 1999-2014, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge









If someone forwarded this newsletter to you and you would like to be included on a regular basis, send us an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line. We will be happy to add you to the list.

To unsubscribe from this newsletter, send a blank email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net. We will make sure you are promptly removed without any hassles. This may sound obvious, but send it from the same email address that we send this to or the automated system will think you are opting a new address into the system instead of removing an old one.

To change email addresses, opt out of the old address by sending an email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net and then opt in with the new address by sending an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line.





Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.

Monday, April 07, 2014

Marketing Yourself to Prosptective Employers - Looking Up Newsletter

April 7th, 2014
Looking Up Newsletter

Good morning,

As the jobs numbers keep improving, they say that more and more people that had given up are reentering the job searching process. So for those of you that are trying to reenter the work market and for those that just want to move up the ladder, today’s feature article is for you. Good luck!

take care,
Skye Thomas


Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.



This Month's News of Interest:


April 2014 Monthly Horoscopes

The new batch of April horoscopes were posted to the website back on the 20th. Here are the links...



If the new horoscopes do not show up, please click on the “refresh” button within your browser.





The free (generic) annual astrological overviews have been posted to the website...






Books by Skye Thomas





Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.



Skye Thomas Websites






Quote of the Week:

If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now. - Woodrow Wilson

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. - Abraham Lincoln

Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives. - Anthony Robbins



Feature Article of the Week:


Marketing Yourself

Every good salesman knows that you must believe in your product or behave convincingly as if you do. It is no different whether you are marketing products, policies, revolutions, or people. Marketing is marketing. Image and believability is king. So how does that play out when you are trying to market yourself?

For the sake of consistency, let’s say that you are applying for a new job or a promotion at work. If you have high self-esteem, you probably would not be reading this article. Therefore, we can assume that you are not too sure of yourself. You would not be applying for the position if you did not think you could do it, but you have insecurities about how you should go about presenting yourself to the powers that be. You are not a professional schmoozer and that is not the image you want to put forth anyway. So how does the everyday person market themselves without coming across as too arrogant or too shy?

Let’s start with believability. Nothing you do or say during the interview is going to matter if you do not come across as believable. Your new boss has to trust you. Nobody hires someone that they cannot trust. How do you build trust? First of all, you have to tell the truth. There are some people who can lie really well, but not many. Most people can tell on some subconscious level when they are being lied to. You know when you get that gut feeling that they are not telling you the whole story. It is the same way with most of us; so do not lie during the interview. If you really believe in yourself, then no matter how nervous you are, the energy of open and truthfulness will show itself.

Second, you need to look them in the eye. Do not stare down at your feet or gaze blankly at the cup of pens on their desk. Force yourself to make direct eye contact and to speak as naturally as you possibly can. It is okay to look them straight in the eye while shaking hands and simply say, “Forgive me, I’m a bit nervous.” They will completely understand and say something reassuring. If they are so uppity that they look down at you for that, then you probably won’t enjoy working for them anyway. You want to like your boss and coworkers just as much as you like your job description and your paycheck. So, be open and honest throughout the interview process and remember that you are interviewing them as your future boss too. It is not one-sided; you are both meeting to determine if you will work well together.

Next let’s look at your overall image. How do you market yourself as competent, dependable, intelligent, loyal, and an overall asset to the company? Start out by not applying for the job unless you are all of those things. The night before your interview, brainstorm a list of these types of qualities that a boss would want in an employee. Put yourself in your new boss’s shoes. What kind of traits would you be looking for? Then run yourself through a mock interview or even better, have a friend help you to rehearse. Ask yourself these questions… Am I competent? Do I have the basic skills necessary to perform the job or am I going to need training? How quickly do I learn? Is this job going to require someone who is a quick self-learner? It is okay to stretch a bit beyond your current knowledge base and to apply for things that will be a bit of a challenge. But you want to be honest and not claim on your resume or in the interview that you have already mastered the skills if you haven’t. Continue through the list… are you dependable? What additional assets or talents beyond the basic ones listed on the job description would you bring to the company? Be prepared to tell the interviewer about some extra bonus skills that you would be bringing to the position. Rehearse your answers to the imaginary questions so that when you do get into the interview you will have some ideas as to aspects of yourself you want to market to your new employer. By having your answers semi-prepared, you will have an easier time presenting yourself as an intelligent articulate person even if you are scared to death once the real interview begins.

Finally, do not underestimate your physical image. Be on time. Show up dressed in the appropriate outfit for the industry. Know the name of the company, the job title, and the interviewer. Familiarize yourself with where the bathroom is and go ahead of time. Do not load up on a bunch of fluids or caffeine beforehand. These things may sound silly, but there is nothing worse than squirming in your chair when you are trying to come across as casually self-confident. Monitor your speaking voice. Watch for cuss words and street slang. Pay attention to tone and inflection. Do not allow a whiny voice or a monotone droll to cost you the career of your dreams. Again, having a friend pre-rehearse these things with you can add tons of self-confidence when the real interview takes place.

If you really believe in yourself, then the marketing of yourself should not be all that difficult. Just practice what you want to say and how you want to say it. If you really do not believe in yourself, then you need to work on that first. If your goal is to create a happy wonderful life for yourself, then you are also interviewing them to see if they will fit into your version of happily-ever-after. You are looking for a boss that is comfortable and easy to work with. You want to love your job and to love your life. You are offering yourself the gift of a new job, a promotion, or a pay raise and you are showing the world why you deserve to have it.


Need someone to talk to about life's challenges?
Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.


Unless otherwise specified, newsletter contents copyright 1999-2014, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge









If someone forwarded this newsletter to you and you would like to be included on a regular basis, send us an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line. We will be happy to add you to the list.

To unsubscribe from this newsletter, send a blank email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net. We will make sure you are promptly removed without any hassles. This may sound obvious, but send it from the same email address that we send this to or the automated system will think you are opting a new address into the system instead of removing an old one.

To change email addresses, opt out of the old address by sending an email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net and then opt in with the new address by sending an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line.





Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.

Monday, March 31, 2014

ADHD Optimism - Looking Up Newsletter

March 31st, 2014
Looking Up Newsletter

Hello everyone,

As many of you know, I have been back in school for the last two years formally studying psychology and many of you also know that ADHD runs rampant through most of my family tree. So, it is no surprise that I write a lot of term papers on the subject of ADHD. I am currently in my last class for the current degree that I am working on and once again, I am writing about ADHD. Chances are pretty good that when I complete my doctorate in a few more years, that I’ll end up specializing in adult ADHD. So, please humor me as I focus today’s newsletter on what it means to carry ADHD in your body.

take care,
Skye Thomas


Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.



This Month's News of Interest:


April 2014 Monthly Horoscopes

The new batch of April horoscopes were posted to the website back on the 20th. Here are the links...



If the new horoscopes do not show up, please click on the “refresh” button within your browser.





The free (generic) annual astrological overviews have been posted to the website...






Books by Skye Thomas





Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.



Skye Thomas Websites






Quote of the Week:

Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly. - Erma Bombeck

The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish. - Fred Barling

There is always something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing. Have you cried for that boy today? I don't mean for yourself and for the family 'cause we lost the money. I mean for him; what he's been through and what it done to him. Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most; when they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain't through learning -- because that ain't the time at all. It's when he's at his lowest and can't believe in hisself 'cause the world done whipped him so. When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is. - Lorraine Hansberry, from the play, Raisin in the Sun



Feature Article of the Week:


The Beingness within a Restless Soul

What does it mean to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? It means that your spirit is bigger than your body. It means that no matter how perfect your life is in this moment, that soon a small voice will begin to haunt you asking “Is this it? Is there nothing more?” It is not that you feel entitled or that you are selfish and gluttonous. It is the fact that your body is incapable of maintaining a state of contentment no matter how much your mind might think that you are being illogical. Your body is stir-crazy. Your body seems to have a mind of its own that causes even the most logical and conservative of brains to have to fight like crazy to regain any sense of quiet and tranquility. It means that you are forever searching and hungering for some unobtainable indescribable something that haunts your soul.

It means that when you are a child and a teenager that your peers love your zest for life, your enthusiasm, and your ability to jump into games, relationships, and new adventures with gusto. It means that when you hit your late-twenties that people begin to ask why you are not growing up yet. Why aren’t you maturing? Why aren’t you settling down? Why aren’t you conforming to society’s standards of conduct? Why aren’t you becoming more lethargic like the rest of us? To which you will initially respond, “Isn’t the real question, why are you choosing to become so boring, mundane, and uninspiring?” They will shake their head and walk away, thinking that you are simply immature.

It means that even if you are able to force yourself to sit through years of mind-numbingly boring college classes, that you will still be insanely bored when you go out and get that “real job” that grown-ups are supposed to get. It means that if you are successful you will be miserable while shackled to a desk during most of your waking hours. It means that if you rebel and follow your bliss that you will still be miserable because they will judge you, avoid you, mock you, and they certainly won’t love you for your charming zestful personality, although, some may love you at an arm’s distance in spite of your annoying mannerisms and behavioral issues.

It means that you can take prescription pills to try and soothe the restlessness within your body, but that is only if you can afford them and they do not cause you all kinds of other side effects. Even if you find the right chemical cocktail to sedate your body without sedating your intelligence, creativity, and passion for living, those little pills never take away the knowingness that people do not like the real you, only the sedated watered down version of you.

It means that as an old man or as an old woman, that you are more fun than your peers. It means that they will again love you for your spontaneity and spunk. It means that you will have stories worth telling. It means that you will have said yes to more things that gave you joy and therefore you have less regrets about having said no too many times. It means that you learned compassion for others at an early age. It means that you never had to ask a life coach how to feel passion, how to live your bliss, or how to put more fire into a marriage. It means that you probably inspired at least a few people to come out of their shell, to try new things, to laugh aloud, or to at least not be so afraid of being a bit unique once in a while.

It means that unlike a lot of other people, you know exactly what is wrong with you and exactly what is right with you. You do not go through life lying to yourself pretending that you are “normal” or that you are without flaws. You face your personal challenges at a young age and in some ways that makes it easier, because you are less likely to have a crisis of identity in midlife. You are less likely to compromise away all that is important to you, because you are incapable of ignoring that which you love. While others are losing bits and pieces of their soul along the way, always compromising, you are still steadfastly aware of exactly who you are, what you want, and how you hope to achieve your goals.

It means that your loved ones do not have to ask and wonder about how you feel, what you think, or if you still love them. They know that you are angry when you are angry, you are happy when you are happy, you are bored and restless when you are bored and restless, etc. They know how you feel and what you think because you are not very good at hiding it. It means that you face your problems in the moment and that you do not pretend they don’t exist while they fester and grow into something destructive. You are the canary in a coalmine within dysfunctional families always shining a light on reality and never being able to pretend that everything is okay when it is not.

It means that you are good under pressure because the adrenaline rush is self-medicating. It means that you are comfortable when multitasking because it entertains you more than monotonously doing just one thing at a time. It means that you are not going to be a boring parent, but one that helps your child find adventures to enjoy. It means that as the rest of the world ages, they will grow up and come to see that you really were quite charming and entertaining all along. They will eventually come to see that they were no happier with their calm, quiet, and tactful lives than you were with your eccentric choices.

It means that you make peace with boredom. You learn to accept the fact that boredom is a chemical brew coursing through your veins and that you can find short-term distractions to help you forget that boredom is ever-present, but like the colored water that turns the white carnations into a rainbow of colors, it is in your cells and it is not going away. It colors you. It makes you more of who you already are. It makes you incapable of ever becoming one of those overly routined, boring, and passionless people that deep down make no sense at all to you.

It means that if your brain can find ways to compromise with your body’s mind of its own, then you can tap into a creative brilliance that might even help you to succeed in a delightful career of your own making, in your own time, in your own way. And then they will suddenly call you genius, lucky, and inspired. They will tell you how brave you are for marching to your own drummer when in reality; you were incapable of anything else.

And it means that even if you wallow in self-pity, depression, or self-loathing, that this too will eventually become boring and you will move on to focus on something else, because negative emotions do not hold your attention and therefore, they cannot hold you down. You will always bounce back, because not bouncing back takes too much effort. While others might get stuck in their darker moods, you will always become aware of how much work it actually takes to maintain a state of darkness. It takes a lot of work to refuse to see the daylight shining through the cracks. It takes a lot of work to constantly reaffirm that a dark mood is warranted. You will always eventually grow impatient with darkness and will naturally seek the light.

You will come to realize that you have always sought the light and like a child trying to hold on to rays of sunlight, you will come to realize that it is not something tangible that you can hold, it is a lightness of being that you seek. And eventually, you will find a peaceful balance between restlessness and lightness. You can be both at the same time. It creates a lovely kind of electricity of its own, an inner power of sorts.

It means that at some point along the way, you will secretly thank your lucky stars that you have ADHD and that you are not living a “normal” life.


Need someone to talk to about life's challenges?
Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.


Unless otherwise specified, newsletter contents copyright 1999-2014, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge









If someone forwarded this newsletter to you and you would like to be included on a regular basis, send us an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line. We will be happy to add you to the list.

To unsubscribe from this newsletter, send a blank email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net. We will make sure you are promptly removed without any hassles. This may sound obvious, but send it from the same email address that we send this to or the automated system will think you are opting a new address into the system instead of removing an old one.

To change email addresses, opt out of the old address by sending an email to Remove@TomorrowsEdge.net and then opt in with the new address by sending an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line.





Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Self-Confidence and Teenagers - Looking Up Newsletter

March 24th, 2014
Looking Up Newsletter

Good morning,

We have friends visiting from Oregon. They brought the rain with them. When we used to live in Oregon, the rain almost always followed us on our vacations too.

We’ve been living in San Diego County for almost seven years, and I still don’t miss the rain. Nope, not a bit.

take care,
Skye Thomas


Tomorrow's Edge
...inspiring leaps of faith
www.TomorrowsEdge.net

Books, articles, newsletters,
life coaching, and horoscopes.



This Month's News of Interest:


April 2014 Monthly Horoscopes

The new batch of April horoscopes were posted to the website last week. Here are the links...



If the new horoscopes do not show up, please click on the “refresh” button within your browser.





The free (generic) annual astrological overviews have been posted to the website...






Books by Skye Thomas





Who is Skye Thomas?

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, previews of her books, and her astrology forecasts, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To read more about Skye and to read archives of this free weekly newsletter, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.



Skye Thomas Websites






Quote of the Week:

Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves. - Joseph Priestley

The Golden Rule of Parenting is; Do unto your children as you wish your parents had done unto you! - Louise Hart

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. - Doug Larson



Feature Article of the Week:


Self-Esteem and Teens

Ideally, we raise our children from the cradle to have a positive sense of self-esteem. A child with a strong sense of who they are and where they want to go with their life is not as likely to dabble in drugs, alcohol, and premarital sex. A child with a safe open dialog with at least one of their parents is not as likely to keep secrets and start sneaking around during the teenage years. A child raised to set personal boundaries is not as likely to let peer pressure dictate their standards of conduct. Children raised to recognize their own gifts and limitations are able to make their own choices about what is in their long-term best interest. But most teens are not raised perfectly and they know it, so along with the lack of self-confidence they are often carrying at least a little bit of animosity towards the authority figures that have failed them.

Teens have a double-edged sword in their hands. On the one side, they have none of the adult wisdom that comes from making their own choices and seeing for themselves what does and does not work for them. On the other side, they have serious hormone levels that by design give them the feeling of strength and immortality. You see it in boys especially. There is nothing quite like a heavy dose of testosterone to give a previously insecure boy the belief that he can tackle the opposing football team or even ask the most popular girl out on a date. Hormones foster a temporary manic form of self-esteem in teens that often gets them into more trouble than good.

They think their new can-do attitude is enough to get them through life, but the truth is, those hormone levels eventually mellow out and their original lack of self-esteem will come back. Often you will see young adults in their early to mid-twenties undergoing a depression as the reality of their limited belief systems drift back into their awareness. It is like the tide just came back in. From this place, a lot of people decide that nothing they do really matters and they resign themselves to a dull uneventful life. They put their dreams up on a shelf and most never bother to try again. Remember back in your own life, when did you give up on your dreams?

We need to educate our teens in advance that the Superman Complex will wear off and that they will go back to being normal people again. That does not make them failures; it just makes them human. It should be taught in the health curriculum along with defining the upcoming body changes, that when all of that stabilizes, they will no longer feel invincible. That would help them to not go through the withdrawal-type depression later in life. “When I was young, I always dreamed of being a _____ when I grew up. Now I’m just answering phones on this customer service hotline, being yelled at all day by irate customers. This is definitely not what I had in mind when I pictured ‘happily ever after’.”

Yes, we should teach them self-esteem from the time they are born. Yes, we should teach them how to create a balance between self-obsession and caring about the needs of other. And yes, we should teach them that there is a time and a place for immediate gratification and a time and a place for delayed gratification. But what is often missed is the basic core belief that they are capable of doing anything they set their minds to. Teens should be taught that it takes hard work and determination to make the big important dreams come true. It is fun to dream of becoming an overnight success as a rock star or as an athlete, however behind the scenes their heroes worked hard to master their craft and to become noticed by people who had the ability to promote them. Teach them that luck is something that rarely finds you; you often have to go looking for it. We have to teach our teens the nuts and bolts of how to make their dreams come true.

We have to talk to them and find out what their goals are. Then we have to help them plot a course that is exciting and adventurous. Help them understand that they can accomplish a lot towards fulfilling those goals now, but that there will come a day when nature dictates they will slow down and the fire in their belly will become a quiet ember. They need to be forewarned so they will stay focused now and can get a lot of the hard work done before the mellowing happens. That is why they need to go to college as soon as possible, or train as apprentices now, or practice their craft until they can perform it inside out and upside down in their sleep. They have to work hard while they have the youthful drive to do so. Encourage them to run with their dreams in a positive logical direction that will actually get them where they want to go. Show them how to look backwards over their shoulder once in a while to see just how far they have come and that they may not be at their ultimate finishing point, but they have made wonderful progress so far.

Do not let them tell you that they do not have any goals and that there is nothing they are good at anyway. Somewhere in their grumpy little hearts is a dream; make them find it. Self-esteem does not come from someone else telling us that we are capable. Self-esteem comes from fighting, scratching and digging our way towards something. It is that little voice somewhere in the back of our minds whispering, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…” and that cannot come from Mommy and Daddy. It comes from pushing ourselves beyond our easy comfort zones.


Need someone to talk to about life's challenges?
Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.


Unless otherwise specified, newsletter contents copyright 1999-2014, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge









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Friday, March 21, 2014

Free Aries April 2014 Horoscope

The bad news is that Mars, Pluto, Jupiter, and Uranus are in a major battle. They are causing a huge showdown between you and a partner or rival concerning your home life and your career. Various elements of this dynamic have been occurring on and off for months, but it peaks in a big mess this month. The good news is that this is the worst of it and it will begin to ease off and get better after this month. You have an opportunity to create a positive grand finale within your partnerships and rivalries sector (maybe get rid of a pest?) and some really nice financial and professional energies start coming forward during the final days of the month. There are plenty of silver linings despite the battle.

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Free Taurus April 2014 Horoscope

You should be able to accomplish a professional goal or to at least get rid of a client, coworker, tedious project, or old tools and equipment that have caused you more headaches than they are worth. You also get to launch a new project or goal that you feel especially personally connected to. There is an ongoing drama that is brewing in the background and it comes to a peak this month, but these other two events will overshadow it most of the time.

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Free Gemini April 2014 Horoscope

Your social life, playtime activities, and finances are a mess; each one conflicting with the others. It is not as if you cannot have any fun or you cannot achieve your financial goals; you just cannot do both at the same time (for now). Your career is still on track and things are progressing nicely in that area of your life and you are correct to give yourself permission to be happy and to find a way to create inner peace for yourself towards the end of the month.

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Free Cancer April 2014 Horoscope

The battle between you and a partner or rival has been mostly centered on your father, boss, public reputation, leadership roles, or professional goals. Now, your mother, roommates, houseguests, home life, or retirement plans are also completely enmeshed in the battle. It can feel as if everyone is blaming you for the big mess or they are all looking to you for magic solutions. The good news is that this is as bad as it gets and things are about to fizzle out soon.

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Free Leo April 2014 Horoscope

Yes, the mess at work boils over into a big mess this month. But you actually rise to the top as a leader and as someone worthy of respect and admiration because of how well you have handled yourself. There are also financial benefits that could be coming your way as a result of how well you work to mediate the situation. You are either taking on an official leadership role or you are getting a new boss which might just make all the difference in the world.

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Free Virgo April 2014 Horoscope

Both of your financial sectors are clashing on and off this month. To make matters worse, they are also clashing with your playtime sector and your social sector. And at one point all four are in an uproar at the same time. And yet I find myself telling you that despite all of that, this is actually a good time to begin planning a vacation, embarking on some kind of an intellectual, cultural, academic, or religious journey, or beginning the process of relocating to a new city. Maybe it is because of these battles that you need to make some kind of an adventurous fresh start in your life.

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Free Libra April 2014 Horoscope

You have a huge drama involving you and a partner or rival arguing about your inability to balance your home and career. The good news is that you are doing really well at work, you are succeeding at your professional and financial goals, and you are funneling more money into your home life when you. Still, everyone is bickering and arguing. Eventually, you might just let your work and financial contributions speak for themselves.

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